(Steller)

An Update

(Journal)
Published – 09.06.2022
(Writing)

I was listening to a podcast recently (Between the Covers, from David Naimon & Tin House, in case you were wondering), in which one of the poets who makes me think most expansively about the world and life, Ada Limón, began talking about everything happening all at once and the absurdity and excellence and difficulty of that: “I’m never walking around with one feeling,” she said, after explaining the incongruity of a friend taking both a COVID test and a pregnancy test, and finding out that a person can both be sick and planting a garden - a representative of life, perhaps, in all of that suffering.

We have all suffered in different ways over the last few years in different ways; small ways and big ways and strange ways and ways we are still working to decipher. I turned my life inside out and hid for longer than I thought was possible, trying to figure out how to rebuild following a serious accident. I’m not sure if rebuild is what I have done, but over the past two years, I have cobbled together something of a self again, which feels like a triumph. Perhaps you, having also muddled through the pandemic, feel as if you are just now cobbling together yourself again, too. It feels as if we have all had to reach much further into our own psyches and evaluate what has been going on in there up to this point. The ultimate spring clean, if you will. So what has survived that meticulous scrubbing out of cobwebs and breadcrumbs? The music, I suppose. The great need for music, for art, for literature. The deep and seemingly endless curiosity; an insatiable hunger for learning, for reading. What is left over is appetite. I am not done, never done, never full, always hungry - eyes like saucers for the next thing to discover. I am learning how little I know, which in turn makes my senses keener. I am listening better than I did before, to a wider range of artists. I’m in discovery mode.

As part of this shift, I will no longer be representing artists, at least not for the time being. I am grateful - deeply, wholeheartedly grateful - for the trust and love and grace of the artists I worked with while I recovered. I loved my time as a manager in Australia, in the UK, and in Australia again, and hope one day to return to that important work. Until then, I will be writing, speaking, and opening myself up to opportunities to make things again. If you’d like to chat about collaborating, my heart/mind/inbox is open. I would like to use this platform to share things that move me, and things that I am building. It may be slow going, but slow is good. Movement is what I’m after - however that may look, whatever speed it may take. Movement for the sake of movement, for the sake of warming up and trying and failing, and creating again.

It has been a difficult period of time and I’m excited about what I’ve learned and how I can translate that into my work. I suppose this is all to say: thank you for supporting me, and for coming on this strange journey. I am deeply grateful.

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